Lack Luster Week

There are no more chocolates. The chocolates have been replaced with awkward conversations with VP’s asking me a million and one personal questions. I noticed one broker who likes to chat it up 10 times a day. I will call him *Paul Blart, since he looks like the mall cop to me. *Forever Alone has warned me about these guys trying to flirt and they have wives. I have caught many of them plenty of time without their wedding ring on too. *Paul Blart makes a point to talk to me and tries to do playful things like throwing a ball at me to catch or something. He also finds it amusing that I was a huge fan of a football player named Jake Ballard, who happens to also be white. He attempted to make jokes about that today. Sigh, I love this job but man, I can see this guy trying it. I need a good photo *Scott ASAP on my desk. Other than this my week has been rather basic. I have been shopping like crazy trying to find work appropriate clothes. I also have to shoot Vampz! this weekend too, so I won’t get to spend much time with *Scott as I would like. The good thing is that I have time off next week for the 4^th of July, with no pay. Ugh. 

What are Rich Men Looking For?

My afternoon this past Friday at work turned out to be interesting. I went to go ask a coworker a question and that turned into a conversation with a VP and three other brokers. The VP, we will call him *Panama, and we have *Forever Alone, *Mr. Fix it, and finally *Divorcee. All wonderful people by the way. *Panama was talking to *Forever Alone about dating and finding a girlfriend. I walked in on the part when he said he is just going to get a mail order bride because he doesn’t want to deal with the hassle of dating anymore. So the conversation about the kind of women he wanted began from there. He was interested in having a wife that would give him another child, stay home, cook, and clean. He wanted these things because he didn’t have that in his first marriage. In his first marriage his wife decided to work to get out of the house in return neglecting him, the children, and the house all together. So he hired maids to do the work. *Mr. Fix It jumps in and said that he wanted his wife to stay home; he makes enough money to do it so they came to that agreement and he couldn’t be happier. They have been married for almost 15 years now. It all came down to having submissive women. *Forever Alone comes from a country where that concept is alive and practiced but not to the extent where the women a being taken advantage of. She said it is the point of having a balance and knowing the role. Believe it or not most men want to be the provider and they don’t want much from their woman besides someone who will allow them to be in control. Or at least making them think that they are. *Panama wants that and doesn’t mind if his women shops until she drops as long as they have a good home.

The men I work with are very, very, rich and many of them are looking for a wife. Some are still dogs too. However, I keep noticing the idea of having a submissive women coming up. Check out this video from one of my favorite YouTuber’s to get a man’s perspective and tell me what you think in the comments or via email!

Anonymous Chocolate Giver.

For the last 3 days I have been greeted with Hersey Kisses at my desk. The first day I thought it was so wonderful. Wonderful because I thought a woman at my job was just being nice. I guess I was being naive. I asked all the women in the office that I saw on a regular basis if they put them on my desk. Stupid me! Why would a woman leave chocolates on my desk? By the end of the day I realized it had to be a man but I just ignored it. Wednesday morning I came into work with more kisses on my desk. Now I am wondering who is doing this since I come in at 9 am and who ever is doing it clearly is there before me. So this morning I tried to scan the office to see who comes in before me.

A Bunch of Old Men!!!!

I messaged *Scott about it and he told me to leave the chocolates on my desk instead of eating them or throwing them in the trash. That would let whomever know that I am not interested. We will see if that works tomorrow. 

On Being a Submissive Girlfriend

No, I am not talking about that ropes and whips kind of thing. I am talking about letting the man be the man in the relationship. This topic came to mind when I was with *Scott this past weekend and he mentioned that I always cry. He wanted to know why is it that everyone thinks I am a bitch but he had never seen that side. He followed that remark by saying, “You just like to be dominated.”

That shut me up real quick. It took a moment to think about how I am around him and I couldn’t find a reason to disagree with him. When being submissive I don’t mean being his servant or maid, I like to feel like he is in charge. I seek his opinion when I am making decisions in my life because he is important to me. Does this make me a less desirable woman? No! In fact, I believe that many men enjoy the concept of being in control and a woman who is willing to let go of herself in that way is beautiful. *Scott has been the only guy I couldn’t walk all over and that alone make me feel like a woman with a masculine man. What do you think about being submissive?

Breaking Up on Facebook

Thursday night I wasn’t expecting the message I received from *Scott. It was about my Facebook relationship status. He asked me why was it single and I was shocked. It caught me off guard that he noticed it and it was shown as single for no reason in particular. I told him it has been like that for a while and I had most likely changed that to upset him months ago. He messaged me in an angry tone saying that the status changed that day. Now I started to panic. I know what I did that day, work. That was all. I had no time to sit online and change my relationship status. I knew he was pissed off and there was nothing I could do to make it better. Immediately I went on Facebook and changed the status and made it public. See, before the status was only viewable to him. That is how I know for sure that I changed it to single on purpose.

Even though that was a mellow dramatic moment, I know that he takes our relationship serious and does not want me to come off as single to the world. Otherwise, I would be single for real. Have you guys dealt with the whole relationship status on Facebook ordeal? If so, comment or email me and tell me how you dealt with it!

Got Myself a Summer Job

It feels like every since I have returned from vacation I have been on go non stop. I haven’t been this busy in so long. So, to update you guys, I have a job. Just for the summer though. This will allow me time to save money, finish my classes for my degree, and search for a more permanent position. I am the assistant to two VP brokers at a major financial firm and I actually love my job and hope that it can lead to something more. I am still getting used to waking up at 7 in the morning. I haven’t done that since my last summer job. I haven’t seen *Scott in over a week now and I am counting down the minutes until I see him tomorrow. It will be another short weekend since it’s father’s day on Sunday. Working this week has also made me realize how much time I will not be able to spend with *Scott. I am used to seeing him on Thursday nights and leaving him on Monday morning. Now it will be Friday through Sunday nights. Sound needy much? I know, but I don’t care. There is nothing wrong with me wanting to be with him. Anywho, I have some updates I want to do to my blog this coming summer for a more professional look. I want to pay to get it redone but I have to find a site that is affordable. Until next time!

Calling me another woman’s name during sex

Calm down *Scott didn’t do it. I would murder him right then and there if he did. It makes me wonder what goes through a person’s mind right before they say a name during sex. I could imagine their eyes are closed and they are fantasizing about another person. For this reason, and I know this may be weird, I keep my eyes open. I want to be aware of everything and the person I’m with. Not only that, I like to see if *Scott is making a face. I really try to read his face, especially if his eyes are closed. I really want a guy to tell me what he thinks about during sex. Super random, I know. 

What is Your Number?

And what woman is going to answer that honestly? I know some of you may have had this discussion with your girlfriends over drinks. I know I have and I was shocked to find out that I am perhaps the least experienced person I know. I didn’t think I was freaky but there are some things I am not willing to try. That is, until I am married. So what does your number say about you? Nothing, unless you are a monster whore who had one hundred partners by the time you were 25. I can’t say I have been around the block because I have been in 2 long-term relationships thus far in my life, totaling nearly 6 years. Don’t go trying to guess my number. I did have a life before my serious relationships but not that much of a life.

This leads me to my next train of thought. Have you ever revealed your number to your partner?

I have never willingly done so. In my past relationship my ex was obsessed with knowing every detail of my life. So he did everything in his will to find out. I don’t know for sure how that made him think of me but I am sure as hell he didn’t trust me especially since my number was higher than his. He slept with 3 girls including me. No, my number isn’t a lot higher, but the mere fact that I was more “experienced” than him was more than enough. I think the most important thing when it comes to sex is not regretting the person you give yourself too. Sex is something that is to be enjoyed and I don’t regret any moment in my life. Well, maybe one. That story is for another time. Comment or email me if you want to hear about it in another post. So, would you ever reveal your number to your bf/gf? And what would be too high?

Fights About Boredom

The sheer amount of exhaust that I am experiencing is tiring to me. This past weekend was quite fun for *Scott and I. We hung out with one of his friends. I will call him *White boy, he is actually Nigerian though. He came over to *Scott’s apartment to hang out before he was going to meet up with a girl he is quite fond of. He invited us on this outing to figure out if the girl like him. I was excited to go out for a change so *Scott okayed it and we were on out way. Well, I had to go buy a nicer shirt first. I wanted to look cute. This led to *White boy having to go meet the girl. So *Scott decided to go grab something to eat before me met them at a hipster lounge call Von. I reluctantly allowed him to take me to Oh Taisho!, which is a Japanese place. I used to be so in love with coming here but I am just over it for some reason. We stuffed our face rather quickly and headed to meet *White boy but by then he has decided to get something to eat too. The dummies. We could have eaten together. *Scott and I decided to wait around for them so we went inside Von, which was dead as a doorknob and then to a coffee shop where I got a drink and muffin. Finally when we all made it back to Von I was ready to party. *White boy and I tried to make it fun while the music was pretty awful. After about an hour of trying to get *Scott to enjoy himself I became pissed at the fact that he just seemed bored. I guess I had the “mean black girl face” on because a white guy who had been staring at my breasts the entire time brushed by me and whispered, “you are the hottest girl in here, you should smile.” I did for a couple of seconds but I couldn’t help but get more pissed that *Scott was just sitting down looking into empty space. He finally asked me if I was ready to go and I said yes. Once outside he asked me why I was upset and started a mini argument. I told him I was mad because he was so boring. Maybe the wrong words to use but I meant it. For about 5 minutes we went back and forth until I did not reply or say anything. We were almost at his place when I stopped him in his tracks and hugged him. He thinks that I am getting bored of him in our relationship. I had to let him know that I’m not bored. I’m afraid that he his. *Scott held my hand and let me know that he is happy having lazy weekends in bed instead of partying every night like we used to. That made me incredibly happy. He makes me happy. 

Final Vacation Days

Our last stop was Grand Turks island. Another beautiful island and our plan was to be beach bums. I did attempt to do some shopping there but I didn’t find anything worth purchasing. We only had a few hours of time to enjoy the island so we found a spot on the beach far from the crowd and hung out in the water. *Scott was once again snorkeling in the deep end. I couldn’t follow him and it made me a little upset. I wanted to ride his back and hang on him in the water. I got a little lonely when *K and *Lonely Boy was hugged up most of the time. After a while I was able to convince *Scott to come with me to get food. We wandered into a hut on the beach that advertised conch fritters and jerk pork. We tried both and I felt like we were conned when it came time to pay. After spending nearly an hour talking to the owner he charged us $26 for 2 plates of food, a bottle of water, and a canned soda. I was fine with that until *Scott gave him $40 cash and he gave $8 in change. Let’s do the math on that people (40-26= 14 ). You got that right. I couldn’t believe *Scott let it slide. I wanted to chop that owner up. He didn’t even give us a chance to tip. *Scott had the nerve to want to go back there to get another plate. Not on my watch!

Fast forward to the next day at sea which turned out to be a fun afternoon with *K. After sleeping in for a while us girls decided to hit the hot tub to talk and get away from the guys. Of course I must keep that part of the conversation off my blog. Sorry. That wasn’t even the juicy part. We noticed from the deck we were on that the guys went to play mini golf. So we went to our rooms got dressed and went to the golf area. They were out of balls, which we said was fine because we expected our boyfriends to have some. Just our luck, they were not there. We walked all around the course until a couple of guys stopped us and asked if we could join their game. They said “you look a little lost and only hot girls get lost” or something rather silly. I told them we were looking for our significant others and the asked us to play still. So *K and I decided what the hell. It turned out to be the hot white guy in the club we met a few nights before. We were then joined by 5 of their friends and we turned into a game for drinks. We had a blast joking around we these guys. In the end there was a tie with 3 groups and *K and I lost. So the guys invited us to play dodge ball to for the tiebreaker. Of course I am not down for getting beat down so we declined. *K and I went wandering around the ship until we found *Scott and *lonely boy at the casino. We only stayed for a moment before we gave each other a “let’s get out of here” look. He ditched them and headed for the elevator to watch the other guys play dodge ball. *Scott came running behind us asking where we were headed. Silence. He said “what are you guys up to… looks like something sneaky”. I convinced him that it was nothing and we were on our way. The guys ended up losing and no drinks were bought but it was fun. On the final day of the trip the only thing *Scott and I were looking forward to was seeing a band play. We had watched them nearly every night. Their name is True Identity, a Filipino cover band and they are AH-MAY-ZING!

The day was a blur up until they played.

Overall, *Scott and I had an amazing time together. I can’t wait until we plan our next vacation.