Double Dates and Family Dinners

I had the most amazing weekend. No fighting just hugs and kisses. Friday after work my sister and I headed to NYC for to get Brazilian and full legs waxed. It was a shirt visit so I convinced her to join *Scott and I for dinner at 5 Tacos. I swear I eat there too much. I was hoping we would have fun but, my sister is a bit of a cornball. She didn’t talk much because she was tired from work that day. It didn’t bother me much. I like hanging out with here even if it was for a few minutes. If the environment permitted I was going to try to convince her to break up with her boyfriend. That, I will have to save for another entry. Before I knew it *Scott and I were in bed by 10 and snoring. As I had mentioned before, I am getting to be tired a lot. The next day I convince *Scott to go out shopping with me for work clothes. I also wanted to stop to this store called MUJI so that I can look at some makeup storage cases. To my surprise he said yes. Lucky for us the weather wasn’t too horrible. We spend a few hours out at Marshalls, TJ Maxx, and H&M. He picked out a few pants for me to wear to work. I was excited about that.  Once hunger set in we need to get something to eat fast. We hopped in a cab and went down to 7^th street to get Indian food at Raj Mahal. I love eating there. They play cool music and the food is always amazing. We order samosa’s, chicken tikimasala, sag paneer, and some sizzling chicken. Needless to say we had enough left over’s for a 2^nd or 3^rd meal. The day had flown by so we headed back to his place to watch movies and prepare for our next day.

Sunday, the day I wanted to avoid. *Scott had set us up on double dates with his old college roommate. I didn’t want to wake up early to go but there was no avoiding it. Around noon we headed to lunch at Kambi, a ramen restaurant near *Scott’s house. I was nervous but I tried to talk a lot. I really don’t know what to ask other girls. I am weird like that I guess. I pretty much sat and let the guys talk and laughed at a few things here and there. Awkward lunch to say the least. The next stop on our trip was MOMA. Again, I was not excited about this museum in particular. However, I knew the rain exhibit was there so that was the only thing to look forward to. I think we spent about an hour walking around talking and making jokes about the art and trying to touch things without getting caught before we gave up. We headed outside to see the Rain exhibit only to find that they closed off the line to walk under the rain.. we had to go around it and watch other people have the most fun. Still, it was rather boring. Somehow this double date continued. Next stop, ice cream near the Museum of Natural History. I would have been more excited to go to that museum. It was an ice cream truck called the ”CoolHaus” I got ice cream for the cheap price of $6. I wasn’t impressed with the taste of the patron ice-cream and cookies. I wish there was a list of recommended mixes so that I wouldn’t struggle figuring it out. On top of that the ice cream melted within 2 minutes. A total waste in my opinion. I was happy to find out we were leaving but the guys still tried to figure out if they wanted to do anything else. I was screaming no in my head. I was tired and knew that our day was not ending there. The guys got the hint and we said our goodbyes. *Scott and I caught the train to his sister’s apartment in the financial district. We were meeting her then heading to Jersey City to have dinner with his parents. His sister was treating since she got her first pay check as a Doctor. I have a good time with her and we made plans to go do other things, like shopping of course. We had dinner at a Vietnamese place, and the food was good. *Scott and his mom ordered so much food it almost couldn’t fit on our table. We talked about random stuff for about an hour or so. Dinner with his sister is always more interesting. She brings out the life in their mom who is often reserved. I love his dad of course. He always talks to me. After dinner we walked the parents to their car and talked about *Scotts birthday weekend. They want to go to the Poconos and have plans on renting a house there.  The next thing on my list, Pocono plans for *Scotts birthday. Until next time something interesting happens to me, PEACE!

Jealous of My Ex

Last week I was contacted by my ex *Haiti. He called to inform me that he finally moved out of the apartment we shared and wanted to let me know that he has a few things of mine that I can come by and get when I get the time to. I was pretty shocked at our comfort with conversation with one another but it was pretty cool. We caught up on life events and everything was fine until he dropped a bomb on me, well I asked and he told. He is engaged. Of course I congratulated him and I am genuinely happy for him. However, in the days following I became upset with myself and my life. I had always expected to be more successful and engaged to be married, and the fact that he was got to me. I don’t want him in anyway, I just kinda wanted what he had.

So after walking around upset *Scott asked me to talk to him because he can feel when I am upset. I put it off until we were out for a night walk this past Saturday and I tried to explain to him how I felt. Someone should of told me not to have this conversation. It was eating me alive though. For some reason he took me being jealous of my ex being engaged as me being unhappy in our relationship and with him. He blew up from there. I didn’t know how to defuse the situation. I tried a million ways to explain it and it wasn’t working. Somewhere in the conversation he said it’s like he doesn’t know me. So I replied by telling him ”Since you don’t know me, I’m taking back my I love you.” The conversation turned into an argument quickly after. I didn’t know how it got there but I tried to find the right words to let him know that I am happy.  Tearfully, I told him, I am happy, and I care for him deeply however, I am always afraid in this relationship because I feel like he can just walk away any second. Having the commitment of being married lets me know that he will try and not walk away so easy. That’s what I am jealous of. I told him, I really am not ready for marriage right now but I always imagined my life would happen in a specific order and it isn’t happening that way.

We calmed down after I was able to articulate my words in a more affective way. The fact of the matter is; I am very happy with *Scott, no matter how insecure I get, deep down I know that he loves me and we will get married when we both are ready.

The next day at mass I really felt the need to pray about my insecurities and cry it out. I felt good after that. 

His Intentions Revealed ... Well, not so much.

As much as I want to tell you guys every single thing that happens I can’t. The hardest part about being in a relationship and being a “writer” is drawing the line.

After my last post *Scott noticed I was upset. We ended up having a heart to heart about our feelings and the things that are going on in our relationship. So, for *Scott’s sake I won’t post our exact conversation that came about as a result of the “What are your intentions with my daughter” post. What I can say is that I know where his mind is and where we are headed. If it wasn’t what I wanted.. this relationship would be over.

Now, our weekend following was nothing short of fun. We started our Friday night by taking a CitiBike all the way to Washington Square Park to watch his friend play music. I had a ball being the honorary band member. The next morning we work up early to bike to a 9 a.m. viewing of “This Is The End” which was the most hilarious movie I have seen in a while. During the evening we decided to get ramen from a restaurant near central park. We hopped on our CitiBikes again and made the challenging bike to Central Park in 30 minutes. The worst part was that our 24 hour rental was almost up so we had to eat in 10 minutes in order to bike back. I was beyond tired. My weekend wouldn’t have been complete without my visit from aunt flow. I spent most of Sunday in bed with cramps but I had to go to church. I dragged myself out of bed and *Scott and I joined his sister at mass. As I expected, we went out to dinner and had a ball. I am really glad that I get along with his sister. We went to this Filipino restaurant called Grill 21, which I love to eat on occasion.

I wish I could write more often but my life has gotten out of control between school and work. So please bare with me. I have gotten all of your emails too! I am going to work on this layout as soon as I get a chance since I know that a number of you are having problems with the comment section. Until Next TIME!! <3

What Are Your Intentions With my Daughter?

As I sat with my family for dinner at Red Robin’s the talk about marriage came up. My mother is a true believer that I shouldn’t waste years of my life with a man who has no intention on marrying me. I also agree with this. So, for the 4^th of July she planned on talking with *Scott who was planning on joining us. I agreed that maybe they should ask those questions of him since I am curious myself. So here we are, 4^th of July headed to my family bbq at Swartzwood State Park in Jersey. Well, at least we thought. By the time we arrived to the park at 11:30 am the state police had closed it off. So *Scott, myself, my sister and her friend *Jess went to *Jess’s mom’s home near by. There we set up our own little bbq. I told *Scott that he got out of the questioning. He was shocked I didn’t tell him that he was going to be questioned. My sister decided to take the opportunity to ask him, “So, what areeee your plans with my sister?”. To my embarrassment he sat there and made a face. My heart sank. He couldn’t come up with anything to say to my sister, I am glad he wasn’t around my family. I put that to the back of my mind until we were headed back to NYC. I asked him the same question as my sister did. Again he couldn’t answer. He then asked why would my mom ask that kind of question. “She wants me to get married in the next two years” I replied. He began laughing at the notion of getting married in two years. Again my heart sank into my chest realizing that I may be wasting my time with him. Another few years of my life wasted. I don’t know what to do. It is as if I can never have a serious conversation with him. I did everything I can but, after hearing that I just lost all energy and will. I don’t want to tell him I love him anymore. I have been waiting for the perfect time to do it. I just can’t now. Am I being over dramatic? Not this time. Not when the person you have spent 2 years of your life with can not put it words how they feel about you nor could they even come up with a good enough lie to even attempt to put your heart at ease in the attempt to buy time. Thoughts?