Education and marriage go hand in hand. It has been a personal goal of mine to become educated so that I can not only have a great future, but I can be marketable to a different pool of men. I learned while dating that many men who are financially stable and are educated don't even consider women who aren't established. That doesn't mean that a woman pursuing her education is out of the question though. When I decided to embark on a relationship with my boyfriend I knew that my education was going to be a huge factor. You have to think, "What can I bring to this relationship other than sex?". To top it all off, I am in an interracial relationship. I am dating a guy that is very established and honestly, what kind of partner would I be if I cannot provide for him as well.
I hope that my efforts do lead to marriage because I feel it is extremely important. I do not want to be apart of the 76% of black women who are not married. I also read on BFIM that only 10% of births out of wedlock are from educated women. Which means that I have a better chance of providing a stable home for my future children because I am educated and would in turn be more marketable to successful men. Thoughts?
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
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Hi!I thoroughly enjoy your tumblr, and your honesty very refreshing :)hmmm... sorry if I ramble a lot in this post (I'm a Gemini lol)are you focused on interracial marriage or marriage in general and what sort of education are you talking about? a collegiate education or educating yourself in general. I ask that because currently living in NY and other places I've met both ( financially stable & educated, financially stable with an entrepreneurial background with no collegiate experience what so ever)
ReplyDeleteI find myself being what you said in the second sentence, just the other way around I won't date someone who isn't financially stable and isn't established, (well okay let my hold off on one part, you don't have to be all the way established but if you ARE going in that direction I will be there with you supporting you)I thought I was being unreasonable especially in today's economy. In the end I had to truly acknowledge MY feelings and stop being untrue to myself. Yes looks attract, sex is great (sometimes), but if there is no substance I can't deal, If a man has no drive, no goals, just partying or buying an outfit and can't even afford your own apt or have a bank account lol it's a rap. I guess it comes down to what I SETTLE for or what situations I put myself in with certain men.
My education is a big factor to me and it has to be accepted, understood and cherished because it leads to my career. I have no worries about providing for anyone because I know with hard work, financially the money will come. But I need to know that a man can provide for me as well, don't constantly watch my pockets yet pull nothing out of yours.
I'm a West Indian black woman and I'm not worried about marriage, I love myself and know there is someone out there that God will put into my life; black, spanish, asian, white, whomever I'm good :) and so are you. I have a child out of wedlock, my own apt ( not a box) a car, going to school full time, working and doing this in nyc so you know it ain't cheap. I have no problem attracting any man from any race quality over quantity is the problem lol. I already have a degree but I've decided to go into another field, just remember with statistics not EVERY SINGLE person is reported they can be somewhat skewed.
You provide a stable home with money or no money. Yes it helps but money doesn't make you a better parent, you make yourself a better parent. And in the end you can ask your child, trust they'll have no problem letting you know if you were a shitty mom/dad growing up.
Girrlllll you being an educated, (beautiful) woman who happens to be black can attract successful men yes but you have to know YOUR definition of successful. Yeah he just graduated med school, you can be like YES!! educated man who HAPPENS to be Asian. Someone else on the other hand might say girl please, he has loans out the wazoo that becomes both your loans when you get married, has to do his residency in Louisiana creating a long distance relationship that you may or not be able to handle and he's actually a sub par doctor in fifteen years without his own practice, basically over worked and under payed.
Successful men can also be jerk offs who want a subservient trophy wife; you see kobe and vanessa bryant right?
I love the word you choose " MARKETABLE" to successful men. Sounds rude and somewhat offensive but its TRUE!!! LOOKING at what I'm BRINGING to the table, yeah I see that spark in your eye when you ask about me and I tell you some info on my background, yeah I hear that gusto in your voice, words didn't even skip a beat when I told you I have a child you smile and say you look like your a terrific mom LMAO. I am an educated, hard working woman, who handles her own keeps her body tight hair looking right.... SO your read me your resume as well!!!
Congrats on your blog
I was very excited to read this! And I am so happy to read that you are a successful mother. When you mentioned your child I immediately thought about my sister who was a teen mother. Over the last few years I have seen her struggle and go through so many ups and downs financially because she (at that time) was not educated, and had issues with her child's father. I can only hope that her confidence reaches your level because I know it feels good. Thank you for reading!
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