Hot Dogs and Picking up Women in Church

In an effort to mix things up a bit this last weekend I went to *Scott’s apartment with a detailed plan of our weekend. He had the day off on Friday so I knew we were going to be together a long weekend. Friday morning we woke up early to exercise but since it was beautiful out we went to play basketball. I love running around the courts with him pretending I know what I am doing. I also find it cute how he tries to coach me. That makes me feel warm inside. After an hour of playing ball I had to move my car for street cleaning. I decided to use that time to go get food and roam the city. *Scott couldn’t make up his mind so I drove to Brooklyn via the Williamsburg Bridge. I knew where I wanted to go but I never been to this side of Brooklyn so I pretended I wasn’t lost. I guess he could see it on my face and got upset that I was driving through areas I didn’t know about. After 20 minutes of bantering I found the Manhattan Bridge. I was finally in the area I knew and I was ready to get out of there. We drove down to Crif Dogs on Saint Marks for lunch. I think I am getting addicted to them. Saturday came and went. I attempted to get *Scott out again by convincing him to come with me to a local thrift store. I was shocked when he said yes. We hardly shop together. I didn’t find anything I liked but he was patient while I looked through the racks of clothes. His patience was actually remarkable to me. We opted for Chinese for dinner and watch the Knicks play off game. Sunday was a lazy day up until we went to church with his roommate. I haven’t mentioned him in my blog before so we can just call him *Florida. We had all planned the week before to go to the church’s youth group meeting after mass so that *Florida could meet a nice girl and I can make new friends. We were a little upset when we found out it was canceled. No date for *Florida. We ended up going to 5 Tacos to grab a bite for dinner and to talk about getting *Florida back in the game. He has been trying to figure out the right type of girl for him since he has been out of a relationship for a few months. I know it’s bad that we tried to pick up girls at church but where else can you meet nice women? He refuses to do online or speed dating and meeting women at bars or lounges aren’t that good. We plan to attempt to girl hunt on another Sunday. 

Confessions of a Cheating Husband

I recently read an article on Thought Catalog about a man going into complete detail about cheating on his wife. Please, do yourself a favor and read the article first. Perhaps your view on it would be different than mine, I would love you to comment on it. The anonymous author begins his article by explaining how much he loves his wife. She is perfect and the sex and mind blowing. Pause. I highly doubt that things are so damn good. Throughout the article he is describing the story of how the affair happened, brewing over a set period of time until one night over drinks he did it to her. The most disgusting part about this was that he wrote it as if he was reliving and reveling in the moment. If he could clearly write down the details of the affair then how could he have not processed the hints or signs of flirtation up until that moment? It is very clear that he fully understood what was going on and chose to ignore it.

(Side note: Now, as I am writing this *Scott is breathing down my neck because now he thinks I am going to apply this to my life in some way.)

The funniest part was at the end when he told his wife. He wrote how she would cry all the time and not talk for periods of time. She also had been going for runs every morning and night for months. That right there friend is redemption. He didn’t mention that she would fight and argue with him. Maybe he was just sugar coating it. However, I do know this; she was likely cheating on him during those morning and night runs. I mean what else could explain the fact that she didn’t leave him nor bust him upside his head. The bottom line is, cheating is bad. Your instincts will tell you when you go. It isn’t animal urges that make you do it.

Have any of you experienced cheating?

Reader Question: What are your plans after college? Ever thought about leaving the tri-state area?

This question plagues me every single day leading up to my final days in school. I feel like I am all over the place for the simple fact that I want immediate success. I am doing everything in my power to meet my goal of making $45,000.  That is my aspiration; to get and make money. I feel that once I establish myself I can finally take the next step in my relationship; engagement. I know that my relationship will remain stagnant until I meet all my personal goals. With having a decent paying job I will be able to live the lifestyle that I previously had before going to school full time. What I mean by that is shopping and living life. It really sucks that *Scott is footing the bill 99% of the time we are out doing things. He is such a gentlemen but for once I would like to surprise him with a video game or an expensive night out on the town.

I often wonder if leaving my previous job was a mistake. I would be a manager at this point and probably making the amount of money I seek now. However, I wouldn’t be happy there and I know it. I often thought about leaving the tri-state area and head to California to start a new life but that would be very drastic. I have only kept in contact with only one friend that lives there and I can’t expect them to drop everything and be my guide.

After landing this job I want I would like to focus on getting my masters degree. I am not fully sure it would be in history but I am in process of doing the research.

The most important thing to me is that I remain confident that I will get everything I asked for. I write all of my goals down on a pen and paper, and I constantly read and reread it. Manifest destiny is what they call it right? maybe. 

Reader Question: How did *Scott and I meet?

I don’t know where to begin with this one. *Scott and I met each other online. There I said it. I don’t know if I am embarrassed or what but I have met a lot of people from online over the years beginning in 2001 with my B2K fan meet up days. I always dread this question because I don’t want people to think I am weird and same thing for *Scott. In fact only my mom and sisters know we met online. I also told *Scotts best friend’s girlfriend we met online too since she had met him the same way too. So why am I sharing it now? Well, other than the fact that I was asked this question, I want people to know that online dating is ok. You are not weird!

When *Scott and I began talking to each other we were cracking jokes on each others profile pictures and whatever. It was nothing about being attracted to him on my end. In fact I was dating someone at the time for about 3 months. He never asked to be exclusive so I didn’t mind making friends.

One day *Scott suggested we should hang out because he was bored and had no plans for memorial day so, I went with it and met him in NYC. I felt like I knew him by then so I wasn’t nervous. I still remember exactly what he had on that day. I white t-shirt, orange and grey plaid shorts and matching Nike dunks. Since it was really nice out he played my tour guide. Our first stop was Artichoke Pizza. It was supposedly the best pizza in town. I was not impressed since I am more of a plain Jane pizza eater; cheese pizza only. We went for a walk around the neighborhood until we found a cool spot to have a drink and smoke hookah. This place is now closed sadly. I think he knew what he was doing because after a few drinks and hookah he became very sexy to me. He looked so cool blowing O’s with the hookah smoke. The next thing I knew we were kissing. I remember that kiss like it was yesterday. His lips were nice and smooth and cool from the drinks. There is something about the faint smell of alcohol on him that drives me wild. From then on we kept seeing each other and here we are nearly 2 years later!
What's your take on online dating?

What do you want to know??

I am always writing about randomness and feelings as per usual but I want to know what you guys like to read about. This summer I know that I will have more time to dedicate to my blog and plenty of experiences to talk about as well. So I know I get a lot of views on this blog so tell me what you want to read or know about me. You can comment here or message me privately @ marioluvsme@yahoo.com. Subject ‘What I want to Know’.

A Small Update

I am almost at the end of the line. One month away from finishing my on campus studies and I will have my degree August 15. I have so much work to do for my classes but I know I can get it done. *Scott and I have been going through a tough spell and having small fights. One of which spiraled out of control and almost caused me to walk out the door. While he was in a shower I began writing in a note pad about how I felt and I let out all my anger and I told him I won’t give up on us even if we are going through a hard time. Then I told him I love him. Yea, I did it. He thought I was going to dump him. I could see the fear in his eyes but I think we are going to be together forever. I am very hopeful in our relationship and going through rough patches only brings us closer.

I also have been applying for jobs to start this summer and I am hopeful something good will come through. I am ready to get my finances in order and build a new life. I have a few things I would like to do for myself including loads of shopping. Mostly shopping and saving of course. Until next time!

Dreaming of a Miscarriage. What does it mean?

I had a scary dream last night. I was pregnant at my baby shower. It could remember having so much fun with my family. *Scott’s family had been showing up on CPT (colored people time). I saw him at the table with my family looking uncomfortable but I didn’t pay it any attention. I walked around entertaining the guests and having fun until I made my rounds back to where he was sitting and I couldn’t find him anywhere. I began to panic when I asked my family had they seen him and they didn’t remember him even getting up. When his family began to arrive I got questioned by his eldest aunt on his where abouts. She had invited me to a big family party in south jersey and I promised I would go. I began to search the party looking for him feeling a mix of angry and sad. I found my sister and she hadn’t seen him either. On my way back to the other side of the party I fell in a hole or ditch and my sister had to help me out. When I finally found *Scott I told him I needed to talk to him. However, he was so entertained by his phone and his cousin that he told me to wait. Again I asked him to talk and he told me to wait again.  I asked him again clenching my teeth in order to hold back and he responded similarly and got up. I got so angry my water broke. I knew it wasn’t a good thing because I didn’t have a large belly that indicated I was going to give birth soon. So I began crying and I looked under my dress, which happened to be the cream flowing dress Kim K and Kourtney had shared, and saw a dangling bloody baby arm. I couldn’t take anymore and I woke up. I told *Scott about my dream and he laughed. I didn’t think it was funny at all and I began to cry. I feel like dreams like this mean much more than something on the surface. What if it is a symbol of something apart of him and me is dying. What if the love is dying?