The Weekend

I needed a night or two out after a needy Thanksgiving. I know how much I care about *Scott but my life cannot revolve around him. Some times I have to do things for me. So last Friday I decided to go out for drinks with my sister *Legs. It was for a pre-birthday celebration with her friends *Haiti and *Jamaica. I had told *Scott I was heading out a few minutes before I had left. Yes, I did feel guilty having fun without him though. We ended up going to Friday’s. At the table everyone started to order their drinks when I noticed I couldn’t find my drivers license. I knew that I had not lost it and figured *Scott must have still had it from the weekend we went out in Atlantic City. I told him that thanks to him I couldn’t drink but secretly I knew he was happy. Throughout the night we sent the occasional message to each other about the Knicks game that was on since I was able to watch it. I missed him so much but I enjoyed my time making jokes and telling stories. I planned for another night out with *Legs. This time we went to Cococabana in NYC. There was bottle service so I knew I would have fun. I had contacted *Scott early that day to let him know that I was going to stop by his place to pick up my id before I went out. When I arrived he didn’t have a smile on his face. He handed me my id and was like have fun. I got so upset. I let him know what time I would return and asked him for his keys so I wouldn’t wake him up. I left immediately and as soon as I got back to my car I called him and asked if he really wanted me to stay. His famous line is, “It’s up to you”. I hate that. I hate it because I know he wants me to he just wouldn’t say it. So I assured him that while I am out will be careful and not drink too much. I know he worries about people taking advantage of me while I am drunk. Fast forward to the club- it was cool. The inside was really nice and the music at the beginning was all right too. I did have a drink or two but not too much and I met a few nice girls. After a while the club started to get crowded and I was quickly over the music since I don’t like hip-hop clubs. There was only but so much of guys grabbing me that I could take before I knew it was time to leave. I wanted to get home to my honey bear. I also knew if I would drink anymore I would be too drunk to drive home. So I left and snuck into bed while *Scott slept. The next morning he woke me up to wonderful cuddling, kissing, and that “I’m going to fuck you really good just incase you forgot what you left at home last night” sex. He is my favorite person hands down. 

Needy Thanksgiving

Today is supposed to be a happy day but somehow I couldn’t keep a smile on my face. I missed *Scott and I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to visit his family for Thanksgiving. My previous boyfriend and I used to split the holidays between our families. I guess I miss that a bit. It doesn’t help that we barely talk when he goes to his parents’ house. I know of all days he is busy watching football and doing family things but I wonder if he misses me. I wish that he had invited me over for Thanksgiving. Honestly speaking, I always get scared when he goes home. Maybe his parents are going to invite over a girl they want him to be with instead of me. Ugh. A very needy moment. 

Disrespectful Friends

What do you do when a friend of the opposite sex steps out of line? Well, I had to encounter this on my weekend in Atlantic City. While in the hotel room with *Scott, *Lonely Boy, and *K I received a phone call from a friend of mine. The phone call was at 1:30 am. I had not time to reach and grab my phone before *Lonely Boy picks it up and looks and the name and says,” Who the hell is *Mark calling this late?”. I looked and him and grabbed the phone. *Scott proceeds to ask the same question in a nasty tone. I told them I don’t know why he would call at this hour. I went to sleep right after to avoid further questions. The next morning I sent a message to *Mark letting him know it was disrespectful for contacting me during booty call hours especially if he knows I have a man. I told him not to contact me after 11 pm. He apologized for his actions and claimed there was no reason for him to call except him being bored. Once I finished speaking with him I told *Scott about it and he calmly flipped. In the best possible tone he said – He has lost his privileges with you as a friend and crossed the line. He gets no other chances so tell him to never contact you again. I did not fight with him on the issue. I had to consider the fact that if I were calling a guy at that hour it isn’t because I am just “bored”. So I let him know that I respect his request. I am not going to continue to have a friendship with *Mark. I am too chicken to say it so I am going to take the easy way out by just ignoring him completely. What would you guys do if someone blatantly disrespects your relationship?

Atlantic City

I am so tired. I can barely keep my eyes open right now but I refuse to go to sleep. I am just returning home from a weekend away in Atlantic City with *Scott. As usual I was excited to see *Scott when I picked him up from work on Friday night. I had sat in traffic for 1.5 hours in order to pick him up on time. For dinner we went out to have ramen since it is the perfect weather for it now. I tried to tell him about seeing Breaking Dawn, which was amazing by the way, but he wasn’t hearing it. *Scott is a movie lover and this is at the bottom for him. I rushed back to his place after because I had cramps and went to sleep soon after. Saturday we woke up early and went to get some Filipino food for breakfast. That took us nearly 2 hours to eat and leave because we were so busy talking and making jokes. When we finally made it to AC we jumped right into the shower. It has been a long time since we took a shower together. I love it because he makes my shower fun. I get to wash his hair and scrub his back. Cheesy I know. Later on that evening his best friend *Lonely Boy and girlfriend *K came to our room at Revel and the night began. We were there for a birthday party for *Scotts’ sister’s best friend. The room she stayed in was a really nice suite and the bathroom was stocked with liquor. Surrounded by a bunch of familiar faces we all began taking major shots. I had a lot of vodka, patron, beer, and whiskey. The casino has a club called HQ so that’s where we partied. *K decided we were going to party hard that night and we sure did. Partied so hard that someone in our group had to get wheel chaired out of there! Amazing night of dancing and drinking. Now, I am paying for it. I had to wake and look refreshed to drive with *Scott and his sister back to his parents’ house for lunch. Korean bbq was on the menu and it was delicious. We had small talk for a good while but it is pretty hard to talk while you trying to stuff your face will all you can eat. I am done now..tired as hell. Was this rushed.. perhaps. I think the next post will be a video update.

Breakup after I love you

At least that is what I am assuming. A few weeks ago *Scott and I were talking about something that I can’t remember that lead to a conversation about love. He told me that his roommates’ girlfriend said it to him. Me being the person that I am became immediately excited to hear that. Then he interjected and said he didn’t say it back. This morning when I woke up I checked my facebook and notice that she had changed he relationship status from “in a relationship with” to “single”. I didn’t mention that I saw it to him though. She of course to avoid the public shame of changing your relationship status, deleted the posting before anyone can ask questions.

I guess he didn’t love her back.

Things like this make me nervous when it comes to telling *Scott that I love him. I know it is only right to let him tell me first. I may have mentioned before that *Scott and I say “you are my favorite”.  I think of it as our safe word instead of saying the big L word. I think I would loose my marbles the day he tells me that.

But, do people break up after a person say’s I love you and doesn’t get a reply? Would you wait for the reply if you didn’t get an answer?

Getting Busy

I have missed *Scott so much I couldn’t wait to see him this past weekend. As it turns out, my aunt flow is visiting me this week, which meant my hormones were raging last week. I got to *Scott’s place around 2 in the afternoon. I did my Stepford girlfriend duties and cleaned up his messy room. I also vacuumed the floor after noticing my hair everywhere. I showered and waited for him to come home and lay it on me. When he came home I met him at the door. He immediately kissed me and told me I have 5 minutes to get dressed to go to dinner. Lucky for me I was already dolled up for a good fucking, excuse my language, but this is true. We ended up going to a fancy Italian restaurant with his cousin and some of their friends. I tend to hate going out with his cousin because he always travels with his girlfriend and a pack of girls. I have nothing in common with them. So dinner was rather boring. *Scott and I talked about silly things to get through it. We then had a movie date to see Skyfall. I was not excited about this at all. I slept through most of the movie. The worst part of the night was, I didn’t get to have sex. I was too tired by the time we reached his place around 2am.  Saturday morning we woke up to run some errands and we ate breakfast. During our afternoon nap, or attempt to take one, *Scott kept smacking my ass. I told him, whenever you are ready. It was on after that, 2 times that day in fact. Sunday was more of the same. We went to church, grocery shopping, and ate breakfast. I had to wait the entire day to get some again. We have great sex all the time, but mind blowing, leave you stunned sex, it happens less often. Last night just happened to be one of those nights. I wish I could go into detail but that is just too personal. We slept like babies. This morning I happed to wake up before him. I ran my fingers though his hair until he woke up. We kissed and he gave me a million hugs. I can’t wait to wake up to that everyday. 

My future

I woke up early as usual. I rolled over, tossed, and turned thinking about my future. I want to have a good career. I want to make a lot of money too. I spent 3 hours researching internships and law firms this morning. I have to remain optimistic that I can obtain a great career with my degree. I wonder of if I am making the right decision. Should I continue trying to be a teacher? I only decided during the summer that I wanted to become a paralegal. *Scott and I did a lot of talking about careers. I know my career options with my degree and paralegal is one of the most lucrative. There is a lot of flexibility in the field, options to grow, and somehow I still find myself wanting something different. While out grocery shopping with my sister a few days ago I found myself jealous. I wanted to grocery shop too. I walked up and down the isles imagining what food I would buy for my husband. I wanted to pick up all of *Scott’s favorite things. Do I have to choose between becoming a successful career woman and becoming the best wife one day? I don’t know how I could handle both. The career I am interested in will be very demanding of me. I wonder if I will have time to make a wonderful mean for my husband or would take out do. I am content with getting my degree and diving head first into my career until I am married. I realize how much I want to do these things the longer I am with him. All I can do is pray that I have the strength to obtain my goals as an individual and with that become an asset to my husband in the future. I still have my timeline:

-       Intern for 6 months at law firm in litigation or family law

-       graduate May 2013

-       get a job in NJ or NY

-       move to NYC (pending I have a job paying at least $45,000)

I am giving myself 3 years to jump-start my career. I hope everything goes as planned.

Headed Home

The week is finally coming to a close. Four nights and five days at *Scott’s parent’s house was fun. The highlight of my weekend… getting an egg thrown at my car. *Scott’s dad was nice enough to go out in the cold to wash my car for me. I tried to take over scrapping the egg but he just handed me the hose to rinse off the car as he did all of the hard work. *Scott and I also spend the morning getting gas. Instead of waiting on the car line for hours we used a gas container and kept walking back and forth to the pump. It took all of three hours, two gas stations, and freezing in the cold to get it done. I must say though, his mom loved cooking. We had three to four meals a day. I ate so damn much I probably gained ten pounds. We watched movies and played lots of scrabble with his mom. His dad pretended to do work around the house to avoid playing scrabble. During lunch *Scott came out of no where asking his would you rather questions and one of them was baby names. I was shocked but his mother joined in and agreed with my baby girl name Christen. Fun times. I miss my family though and I am ready to get home. 

Hurricane Sandy

I am so backed up in writing right now my brain was about to explode. This hurricane was no joke I swear. I don’t even know where to begin so I will start Sunday. *Scott and I woke up Sunday morning as normal. I began to read the newspaper report about how bad this storm is going to be but I didn’t pay it any attention. We went to his doctor’s appointment and while waiting I began talking to the receptionist and others coming in the office. They were talking about evacuations that were going on. I realized at that point maybe I needed to take this a little serious. When *Scott was finished I told him we should go get food before the storm comes. Of course, him being a guy, he said no. He didn’t think the storm was serious because of hurricane Irene last year. So we went back to his place and watched football. During the game I continued to read reports about evacuations and soon enough, a friend came knocking on the door looking for refuge. That’s when *Scott obliged me and went to the super market only to find there was barely any food. Silly me, what the hell was I thinking when I bought frozen foods? The lines were long as hell. My mother and Grandmother called to make sure I wasn’t in any evacuation zones in NYC. I said no, but I didn’t tell them I was 3 blocks from one. Monday morning comes, nothing. No rain or wind. *Scott was like, “see I told you so, nothing is happening.” He began to work from home since his offices closed for the day. I listened to weather reports the entire day, which seemed to annoy him. His friend’s showed up a few hours later soaked in seawater from having a water fight down by the piers. *Scott got all excited wanting to go outside. I wanted to go to. However, we became distracted by other fun things people do in a storm. Soon after we fell asleep but was rudely woken up to what seem to sound like the entire neighborhood screaming. BLACKOUT. To see NYC in pitch black is perhaps the scariest thing ever but cool all at once. We didn’t stay up too long after having a few drinks with everyone in the house and watch the Campaign on what was left of the battery on *Scott’s laptop. I took a ho bath in the sink once we realized that hot water was being turned off too. Tuesday, felt like an episode out of the Walking Dead. People were wandering in the streets aimlessly looking for food and water. Realizing that we had no service on our dying phones *Scott and I ventured outside looking for food. I was so upset with myself for not preparing for this. After walking for 20 minutes we turned back around realizing that there is no way for us to know where there was electricity in the city. Back at his apartment *Scott realized that the gas was still working on the stove and was able to make ramen. I thought I was saved. I was excited. One of his roommates and his girlfriend decided to make their way to Brooklyn in hopes of finding light. Soon after he left, we notice the water was getting shut off. We ran all over with pots letting the last bit of water drip into them. I didn’t know what to do then. No water, no electricity, nothing but alcohol and ramen. We ended up playing poker for a couple hours into the rest of the day until I demanded that I go to my car and listen to the radio. BEST DECISION EVER!!! *Scott, *Jake, and I sat in my car listening to the horror that was surrounding us. I wanted to see for my self so we went for a little drive. Past 42^nd street there were lights, food, and people; living as is nothing happened. I was so pissed that about that. We found a working atm so I pulled out cash and *Scott went on a food frenzy. Mc Donald’s along with 53^rd and 6^th.  Returning back to the darkness that was *Scott’s neighborhood I realized that my burger was spoiled. Go figure. We ordered 4 of those damn things. With nothing left to do we spent the night playing monopoly. I must say I did have fun watching the guys argue over selling properties. Wednesday. I was loosing it. Another day without being able to communicate with the world. *Scott asked if I wanted to go to his parents house, I told him only if they had hot water. So he went outside in search for a signal and 1 hour later returned and told me that they did. We packed our things and we were out the door. I needed gas. 1 quarter of a tank was just enough to get us to his parents’ house but not back to the city. We passed and search every gas station in the area. NOTHING. I was nervous as we pulled up to his parents place thinking, we are stuck here for at least 3 or 4 days. They were happy to have us though. They cooked all the food they had in the fridge so it was plenty to eat. I quickly realized I could take a hot shower, but… I only packed enough underwear for the weekend at *Scotts. I didn’t know there was a hurricane coming when I went to visit him. Needless to say, I am going commando at his parents house in his old gangster clothes that he loaned me to sleep in. We spent the afternoon laughing and playing games. His parents whooped our asses in Scrabble.  Then as soon as the game was over…..WE HAVE ELECTRICTY !! I got to take the best hot shower and now we can watch a movie. The best night ever! I woke up this morning in his old room. I got to sleep in his big comfy bed. He is in the room next door. Now I get to spend the day searching for gas and underwear as he works from home.