Yesterday morning
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. *Scott had woke up and cooked us breakfast
and as I sat at the table my mind began to rush. Next thing I know “I need to
talk to you” spilled out of my mouth.
There was no turning back. It felt like an eternity trying to search for
the right words. I started telling him why I was nervous about the cruise and
how I wasn’t confident in our relationship. The first thing he says “So you are
not going on the cruise? Let me know.” He was getting angry and I could tell
that I needed to make my feelings as clear as possible without crying in order
for him to understand. I struggled on telling him pretty much what I wrote here
to you guys. He told me that he expects me to be with him forever and a day to
take his bullshit. He purposefully was over dramatic the night we had a huge
fight and that I look really pitiful when I cry. Yeah, I know that I am an ugly
crier … in the Kim Kardashian way.
It took forever
to get that out of him. He told me how he doesn’t like to talk about feelings
and he’d rather show. I let him know that on occasion I need a little bit of
both. Leaving me to fill in the
blanks I asked him “So you are completely confident in our relationship because
you never expect us to break up?” He say’s, “Yup!” I continued, “I always get
worried when I feel like you can walk away at any minute .” By the end of the conversation I
figured out where his head and heart is with the little that he said. What I
see is what I get. I see that he cares for me and shows me so much more love
than I could ever expect a man to give a woman. I also congratulated him on
keeping his cool about me questioning the cruise. I was expecting him to blow
THEEE fuck up but he didn’t. I know that I tend to over react to things. I am
trying not to. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us!
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