Time to Think

So I had a week to breath and think about everything.  I was nothing short of mentally exhausted between that and school. I talked to my mother about my concerns about going on the cruise. She feels like I am purposely sabotaging my relationship. I don’t think so. She feels like I shouldn’t be concerned about going on the cruise because I would have be ok if *Scott’s friends haven’t had broken up with their girlfriends and then confided in me, ultimately causing me to doubt my own relationship. This may be true but, isn’t ok to look at my relationship objectively? So after my week of thought I have decided not to think about a future with *Scott. The more I think about it, the more I expect. I don’t want to get my hopes up high just for them to be shut down in an instant. I have also mentally prepared myself to leave him at any moment. Which again brings me to this cruise. With such an uncertain future with *Scott I don’t feel 100% comfortable taking this trip. Will I feel different in a few months? I don’t know. Are my fears worth canceling a dream vacation? I really appreciate comments and messages I get on my blog and tumblr. You guys are like an extra set of sisters and a couple of brothers that can give things a fresh set of eyes and be unbiased.