A Party For One

Another weekend apart from *Scott. I spent time with my family attending a wedding and bumming around. My Friday was surrounded by running errands with my sister and getting ready for the reception. My cousin and her fiancé finally got hitched and the family threw her a wedding party. I was prepared for the worst honestly. This was a party on a penny budget. When my family arrived an hour and a half late, we found we were the first people there. This is CPT (colored people time) at its’ finest. Finally 3 hours into a 5 hour scheduled party the guest of honor showed up. It could have been worse but I had a ball after drinking patron and lots of grey goose. My mom sat back and watched as my sister and I partied with the hood folk. She later told me, “you look weird and out of place. ” I knew I didn’t fit in but I tried not to bring ‘Becky’ to the party. Becky is what my cousin calls me because I act white to her. I texted *Scott a few times throughout the party because I missed him. Saturday I slept the day away trying to avoid the harsh reality that I have no life outside of school and *Scott. Times like these really bother me when I try to figure out why I have no real friends. I often try to establish relationships with people but it seems to never work. I guess that’s why I am so needy when it comes to *Scott and the same for him. He pretends like he doesn’t miss me but texted to me about a BBQ show for the greater part of the afternoon. At the end of the night he tells me he wished I would have come over. We could have been bored together. Now I am preparing for a hectic week of school work. Writing papers and study for 2 exams will have my brain fried before the weekend. 

Spring Break

Spring break is over. Sort of. I didn’t go to class because I was extremely tired on Monday morning and today I am feeling worse. Major sore throat and nothing is working. My weekend was fun. I spent it shooting the web series I am in called Vampz!. First I need to tell you about my spring break. It was long and full of work. I spend my days doing class work, applying to jobs, and cleaning up. *Scott’s apartment has gotten so messy I couldn’t take it. I hope when I go back this weekend it looks clean. Last Thursday was the highlight of our week together. He had an office party that night so I was expecting to be at his place all day alone. However, a few hours after he left for work he called and asked if I were busy. Technically I was off to get a manicure but, he wanted me to go with him and his coworkers on a scavenger hunt around the city. Since I could drive it made it easy. So I rushed and got dressed to go get him and 3 people. It was a black and Asian guy and a white guy. They were super cool and for the next 5 hours we were all over the city. Afterwards they had invited me to join in on their office party at a swanky club downtown. I was super nervous. I wasn’t dressed up and I didn’t want to be nervous. Inside *Scott tried to make me comfortable but I decided to leave after an hour. I didn’t want to have him sit and entertain me and not get to know his coworkers. Later the night I went back to pick him up and he was a little sad I left since all of his co workers wanted to meet the mystery girlfriend who helped his team win the scavenger hunt. We ended our night at a ramen place somewhere in alphabet city. I think that is what that area is. I love being around him but I had to leave. He mad a huge effort to convince me to stay an extra day. So Friday morning we went to run errands and eat breakfast at a Filipino restaurant. It seemed like we talked forever about who knows what. That’s what I like most about being with him. We went back to his place and watched movies until it was time to go. I became so sad I had to hold back tears. I felt so needy but I don’t care anymore. I love being with him and leaving on a day we normally would be together is really hard for me. He tried to get me to stay a little longer again by asking me to dinner but I had to rip the band aid off. He walked me to my car and I drove him back to his door. Super slow. I can’t wait to see him again but I will wait until Friday to go see him since I spent so many days with him last week.  

Tacos, Parties, and Drinking. A night in NYC.

This weekend was so much fun. *Scott and I have been such homebodies but we got invited to a friends’ housewarming party so we decided to hit the streets. I started our day by making him a little breakfast. I cooked grits with cheese, scrambled eggs, and sausage. He was very excited to have grits for some reason. Later that afternoon he and I headed out to get dinner at 5 Tacos with his roommate. We spent a good 2 hours talking about food and relationships inspired by watching Think Like a Man. *Scott hated that movie so much because it was based of Steve Harvey who had a failed marriage. He doesn’t want advice from a failure. I didn’t care though I thought it was a good movie and I pegged him as the guy that was dating Gabrielle Union. After dinner we caught the bus to south street seaport to watch the Knicks play at a bar. It was a white trash bar complete with bra’s on the ceiling. I kinda liked it. We hit another bar after that a few blocks away where we met another guy named *Jay. He was a cute guy. No girlfriends to hook him up with though. We shared a drink and hit the housewarming party. Now, I was expecting something real chill but this ended being a house party. Asians, white people, and 4 black people. It was actually really fun. Since I traveled with a pack of guys I new I couldn’t be in their face all night so I made my way to the kitchen where all the alcohol was and started talking to random people. After getting a drink I started chatting it up with a group of people playing beer pong. I have never played that game so *Jay decided to be my partner. I got nearly all of the cups and he was trash. That opened the floor to a lot of conversations with the party people. I wasn’t too drunk to make it known that I was with *Scott. I noticed a few of the white guys were eyeing me. The next thing I new I ended up with this couple talking about vacations and Hitler. I mean seriously we were all drunk talking about Nazi Germany. I found it hilarious. Once the party was over we hopped in a cab back to the East Village to get 99 Miles to Philly and went home. I felt like complete trash the next morning but I pretended I was ok so that *Scott wont get upset I was drinking so much. I think *Scott and I need to start getting social again. I think he likes to just hang out in bed with me more though.

Alone at my Boyfriends' Apartment

For the most part of this past weekend I was at *Scott’s place studying. He spent the weekend working. It felt weird to sit around at his place doing nothing while he was at work. So I made myself useful. I did laundry and went shopping. He had specifically banned me from doing so in order to save up for our cruise so I would have spending money. I have money aside already for that so I went out and got a new pair of converse sneakers and a bunch of BCBG tops. I once again feel like updating my wardrobe to incorporate higher end items after a girl at my school recognized the jacket I had from F21. I immediately knew then I need to shop places that aren’t typical and perhaps more adult. I also spent time this weekend looking at job openings and saving listings so that I can apply later on this week. As I said before I hope to get a job paying $45,000 a year. Even though I will have my degree by summers end, I know hope that without it I can still land a good job. I already have the skill set necessary for decent work so I am not worried. I will also apply for internships just in case. Saturday night I spent time writing and that prompted *Scott to ask about my diary and can I read him an entry. I struggled with doing so because I feel like I can be quite harsh, dramatic, and at time erratic when I write about him. I did it still. He laughed and called me crazy when I read my entries. Things are going smooth between us and dare I say.. nothing so exciting or crazy has happened that would make my blog something so exciting to read. The closer we get the more I want to keep to myself. We will see!