A Party For One

Another weekend apart from *Scott. I spent time with my family attending a wedding and bumming around. My Friday was surrounded by running errands with my sister and getting ready for the reception. My cousin and her fiancé finally got hitched and the family threw her a wedding party. I was prepared for the worst honestly. This was a party on a penny budget. When my family arrived an hour and a half late, we found we were the first people there. This is CPT (colored people time) at its’ finest. Finally 3 hours into a 5 hour scheduled party the guest of honor showed up. It could have been worse but I had a ball after drinking patron and lots of grey goose. My mom sat back and watched as my sister and I partied with the hood folk. She later told me, “you look weird and out of place. ” I knew I didn’t fit in but I tried not to bring ‘Becky’ to the party. Becky is what my cousin calls me because I act white to her. I texted *Scott a few times throughout the party because I missed him. Saturday I slept the day away trying to avoid the harsh reality that I have no life outside of school and *Scott. Times like these really bother me when I try to figure out why I have no real friends. I often try to establish relationships with people but it seems to never work. I guess that’s why I am so needy when it comes to *Scott and the same for him. He pretends like he doesn’t miss me but texted to me about a BBQ show for the greater part of the afternoon. At the end of the night he tells me he wished I would have come over. We could have been bored together. Now I am preparing for a hectic week of school work. Writing papers and study for 2 exams will have my brain fried before the weekend.