Feeling some way

Sometimes I have to sit back and look at my relationship. While watching the Knicks play last night *Scott and I sat on the sofa intertwined. I am going to be honest with myself and let you all in on something that has been bothering me. After being in a relationship with my ex for 4 year I feel like the memory of him consumes me. I constantly compare my relationships. I feel like I am afraid that what *Scott and I have just cannot be real sometimes. We are coming close to our 2-year anniversary and in my previous relationship I didn’t experience what I can say is as beautiful. Getting showered with the amount of love and affection that I get from *Scott is just amazing and surreal to me. I want to tell him I love him everyday. I have to catch the words before they leave my mouth. Isn’t it a man’s place to say it? If everything goes how I plan, I want to try to surprise him with a weekend vacation somewhere. Even though we occasionally fight he is the best person in my life right now.