Dear *Ex,
I know right now we are both emotional about the state of our relationship. As much as I hate to leave you I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. Every relationship has its ups and downs of course but when the love and trust is gone getting it back is the toughest thing in the world. I know I love you and you love me too but our relationship with each other is coming to an end. I told you how you treated me for the last 3 years after that incident. And then 2 years ago after our falling out I wanted to leave, and against my better judgment I allowed you to manipulate the situation. I cannot believe you threatened to take your life then. And now today you say it again. I don’t want to be the reason you go to hell. In the end you will do what you feel is necessary and I don’t think hurting yourself is the way.
You also constantly mention that this is so sudden. It is not like I have been planning to leave you, in fact it is the opposite. Your actions and words have numbed me to the point that I don’t want to feel. I have been mentally and emotionally preparing for you to leave me for a while. And you cannot pretend that I haven’t said this to you. You say to me most of what you say is a joke. But when you constantly say things, when is the joke over? I cannot pretend that I am totally happy and I am shocked that you are acting like you are. I have thought at one point that us getting married will be the solution, maybe you would love me more for real, or show affection, call me beautiful, something. But it isn’t the answer. And you wont be able to change your heart in one month.
All we would be doing is putting off something that I know is inevitable. It hurts me to hurt you so bad, but this pain will go away. I know that you would find someone that you can love all the way and trust fully. I am not that girl. I lost that a long time ago. I don’t hate you and I know that you may think you hate me but I know you will be happy soon. This is not about our families, other men, it is about you and me. Our relationship has taken it’s course and while it was wonderful at times the bad moments are overshadowing our everyday lives. One day you will forgive me.
- love Christal
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